The Essence of Time and Mind

I have tried to open my account yesterday but to no avail because I seemed to forget my username and my password. Forgetfulness seemed to be the order of the day. It just sets in and I was not able to remember a few things that I had intended to do. I dont really know the root cause of the problem but after a good rest and indulging in some soul-searching through prayers, things have started to come back. I guess when your body is in a bad shape, tired and listless, you get your mind a bit haywire, some tinctures of forgetfullness, complacency and you also get your priorities jumbled.

When I am, finally, able to seek the rest I needed, tranquility sets in and I am able to visualize my mental framework of things. I began to seek the cause of the problems that I had.

The past month, that is, in the month of March, was the period of time which has etched in my mind and life, a permanent memory of the death of my beloved father, Othman bin Abdul Hamid, on the 22nd of March, 2007 at 5.10am due to what the doctor diagnosed as brain-stem infarction. My late father was hospitalised ten days before his demise. For the first three days in the hospital, he was able to respond but after that he was in a state of coma. The only visible of physical consciousness that I saw was, his breathing which supported by the oxygen mask placed over his face.

I had been commuting from my place of residence to HKL which is over 300 kilometres away on a regular basis. I could not be there all time, by his side, at the hospital because of work constraints and my children's schooling. I am thankful to my brothers and sisters, as well as my uncles and aunts; my cousins and family friends, who were there, by his bedside.

When the day came, I was at home when my brother called to say that my father had passed on. I was not shocked because I am quite prepared for this news due to his age and condition. What first came to mind was, all the good things that he had done for all us. I quickly went to the bathroom and cried. I need to cry alone. I dont want my family to see me cry. I must present myself to be strong to carry out my duties at my father's final rites as the eldest son. All the preparations for the funeral was done by my brothers, sisters and my brother-in-law.

When I finally arrived in KL, everything was prepared except the wait for burial. After the Zohor prayers, my father's body was finally laid to rest at the Taman Keramat Cemetery. Everything went on smoothly without a hitch. After the tahlils and the administrative procedures of reporting the death at the JPN, I went back home on the third day.

I didnt how tired I was, until I reached home. So must the others.

Since my father's demise up till the time of this writing, I was shocked and traumatised by two other deaths which had personal ties to me. One is the death of a friend and the other a cousin, both younger than I am.

I guessed that it is because of the events that's happening to me consecutively that had placed some weights on my mind and body.

I remembered what my late father had once said to me, "When you are tired of walking, sit down and sit in a proper place and manner and start to walk again in your self".

I had done just that and finally, I am at ease with myself. Thank you "Bak" for everything that you had done for us and May Allah, for eternity, blessed your soul.


A Hamid's East of the West.

Intoduction

Hi,
This is the first time I am blogging. All the while, I have been viewing the blogs of others, members of the Bloggers United fraternity and, with much awe, I cannot further contained myself to have my own blog. I have not really decided on what or where to direct my thoughts to, I mean, on any things specific; but I know it will catch on once I have started to pen down things.

Till then,

Regards,

A Hamid's East of the West