Crossroads?

Today or rather tonight, I am not able to sleep, not because I am not tired but simply I have lots of things on my mind. I am 52 years old come this July and I suddenly realised that I have not accomplished much as I should in life. I am just wandering or rather meandering about listlessly without a really proper ambition or mission in life. I thought I had them but now I simply dont know anymore. I dont really know what I want. I know I was ambitious once and also an idealist who wants to prove myself to the world that I could become a sombody but as time goes by with a few hitches along the way, I lost sight of the horizon.

I could remember something that happened in 1985 when I was a student in UPM that blew away my whole life and my idealism; and left me with very little to pick up the pieces. I had no choice but to begin back building my life once again.

Now 22 years later, I have began to stand up again, I do not know what I really want out of life.